____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

21:55
Sunday, March 28, 2004

____One Last Breath... Maybe Six Feet Ain't So Far Down

Taboo, taboo, taboo. Like sex a few decades back, death is an equally taboo topic. Another topic everyone conveniently avoids. A topic that makes me heart sink like the Titanic. The sinking feeling is bad. It is worse than watching Ronaldo putting the ball past Barthez firmly into the back of the net during the Real Madrid and Man Utd encounter in 02/03 season Champions League. Much worse.

I do not know if it is me. Maybe it has happened to you. The thought of it just freaks me out. Sometimes when I am alone, I think of it. The question "What's next?" really defeats me. Instinct takes over, common sense takes a backseat, and the simple minded caveman thinking within me engulfs all reason. The urge to howl the distant lonely wolf howl is there. The sad, frustrated, moanful howl.

Science is a wonderful thing, but it is not omnipotent. A simple "What's next?" cannot be answered by science. Yet, being intrigued as I am, the search for an answer is on. Futile though. All I learnt from multi-verse is that probably a whole lot of millions of "other" me have died. Getting knock down by a car, falling down from the rappelling tower, falling off my bed, all these could have caused me to "die" in so called the other possible universes.

Yet, I have the occasional feeling that I am all ready for it. Ready to go six feet under, to kick the bucket, to sell salted ducks' eggs. Sometimes, things get so void, nothing seems important anymore. The point is not there. People argue over the smallest details. Quarrel over the most minute things. In a way, all these silly fights boil down to one thing - the will to survive. The fittest and strongest survive? FALSE.
What is the point? It's pointless. Go through all that trouble and hassle just to die. Maybe six feet ain't so far down. Is this what the song means?

What keeps me going? The people around me and football. I do not want the people around me to be sad and I have not played all the football I want. I know the day when my legs refuse to work anymore will be the day it is time to give up. Unless I find new meaning. A meaning to life. A reason to go through all the trouble and pain willingly, happily. If not, it is all pointless.

I sound dangerous, like I need counselling. I don't think so. Like I said, I would not take myself away. It is stupid, but to me, I do not want to face myself and ask myself "What's next".
_______________________________________________________

I hear myself panting. For the past fifteen minutes or so, I have been running tirelessly yet aimlessly. I do not see the point again. No sign of the ball. Maybe because I am new to Parry Football the old birds refuse to pass the ball to me. Football began to suck. And I begin to wonder, is my last breath coming?

I would not take yes for an answer. If they are not going to pass the ball to me, I will win it myself. And so, adopting a positive attitude, I went, ran, won, played the ball. After a few nice passes, I was more confident in myself. The guys there too begin to be confident with me. I became more at ease with the panting - I was enjoying football again.

I do not know how long this positive attitude will last, or how far football will take me. But I will be waiting. Waiting for the new meaning.

Currently Feeling Like: Beckham (Real Madrid) to walk out of Old Trafford.

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20:56
Wednesday, March 24, 2004

____Bitchin', Scratchin' and Beauty Queens

I do not know if it is the living in Singapore. It gets too hot in the afternoons and it is easy to flare. Flaring up seems to be a common feeling within me nowadays. Sometimes I wonder if the problem lies with the people around me - the influence to flare up and explode. Or probably the army has brought the vicious nature out of me. Nevertheless, Singapore is a bloody hot place to live in.
___________________________________________________

I learnt from somewhere, some article, some place in time, probably a few days or a week back, that even beauty queens patronise the idea of using a blog to pen down their life stories. I tend to believe that beauty queens are just some people who strut around the catwalk stage for judges to eye at them. Of course, the recent Miss Singapore contests have somewhat changed this mindset - some of the girls are really intelligent. But that didn't make me think that their blogs would be interesting. At least, not until i read that particular article.

Apparently, in some beauty competition (I don't think it is the Miss Singapore Universe), these two girls own blogs of their own. Nothing surprising, since they are also humans who, probably like me, have things to tell the world. However, this particular girl X starting bitching about another contestant, Y, in her blog. I forgot what was it about but a good guess would be about the actions of Y. Of course, Y would not take it lying down, or say "thank you for the criticism". Her RETALIATION came in due time, bitching about who else but X.

I thought that such high profile bitching only occur to people with celebrity status. Then I also realised that it is right to say that these two girls are celebrities in their own right. But what I did not understand is the use of their blogs to bitch about others. Afterall, would not an elaborated interview on the television be a better medium to tell the world? How many people would come across her blog? (Of course, now with the article blowing up the incident, more people would love to be witnesses of the royal catfight.)

I read on and realised that her FIGHTBACK was more of a personal attack. Less related to the main incident, more of RIDICULOUS CONTRADICTION. It got kind of ugly and it irks. It defeats the purpose of a blog. It ABUSES this form of "media". It is almost unholy...

YOU, I believe, will begin to see and sense the uncanny similarities of this all at some point in YOUR lives. It is sad. It probably made YOU angry as much as it made me disappointed. It happened to me as much as it happened to everyone else before. And it was exceptionally disappointing when my intention was to be objective to the situation.

I would learn to take such things into my stride like I have taken other setbacks. As tempting as a REBUTT would be, I realise that it is pointless to go on and on with INCORRIGIBLE people. Just shut up and keep quiet and let the other party carry on with his pointless, ONE-MAN, catfight...

Currently Feeling Like: Kaka (AC Milan) rifling a screamer past the hapless goalkeeper, silencing the money-rich, "champions wannabe" and their taunting fans.

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12:04
Monday, March 22, 2004

____Not Here, Not There... Yet

Another day to sit and stare at the computer screen. It's a wonder my eyesight do not get any worse. Been rather uneventful in the last few days too. Same old back to camp, play football, and eat. My decision to run at least these few days have not been resolved yet. I suppose this is the attitude of an ORD-personnel - to slack.
______________________________________________________

My life has been topsy turvy. It is either not here or not there. I have not been really outstanding in anyway. And this was proven yesterday. Yesterday was disappointing. As usual, I went looking for a football game on a Sunday morning. To my dismay, the usual football hang out turns out to be empty - a sight that has been very common nowadays - I wonder where are all the sunday football fanatics.

And so my friend suggested to go to NYJC to play. I hate to go there.

Firstly, sometimes the gates will be locked and we had to climb in. No problem with that. Afterall, the SAF did not train me to clear obstacles for nothing. It is just that I do not understand why we had to go through such trouble and pain just to play a game of football. It is quite embarrassing with the passers- by looking on at us too. So, somehow the idea of going to NYJC is always a turn off.

Secondly, the people there are good. And I do not mean that they are very skilful. Yes, there are always more skilful people around. But the difference is that these people have played with each other for quite some time. They understand each others' moves and style very well. As such, their teams are very strong. On the other hand, my friends and I do not play with each other that often now. It does not help with one of your teammates thinks he is a wonderful player - dribbling all the way down to touchline and taking a shot there - sounds stupid, but that is what he does. THAT is NOT the way to play football! The worse thing is, he starts bad mouthing when somebody makes a mistake. GRRR....

As expected, our team got the thrashing we deserved. Totally outplayed, outran, and outlast. Gobbled, chewed and spitted out. A total blow to my confidence. I have been playing well in camp and suddenly, someone dealt a sucker punch, and there I lie, still reeling from the pain.

Suddenly, a thought hit me. The sudden truth that maybe I still am not good enough. The "not here, not there" symdrome. It has come back to haunt me again. It has always been this syndrome. The good but not good enough syndrome. I need to train harder and play more intelligently - in terms of football.

In terms of other issues like studies, it is a matter of concentration and how much I want to do well. Hopefully, I am a person who is not here, not there... YET...

By the way, an old friend's birthday needs special mention here.
So... Happy Birthday, Yueli!

Currently Feeling Like: Diego Forlan (man utd) needing extra training.

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13:04
Thursday, March 18, 2004

____Overgrown Pride and its Flaw (Part 2)

On leave today, been eating a lot, think I have to start running again, it has been sometime since I last ran. Been enjoying football too and it is time to sit, think, and tell the world about my life stories again. Glad to have a break from camp, away from the hustle and bustle of an army camp.

Away from the constant bickering with army friends, namely arch nemesis, and campmate, "W". We cannot avoid a day without disagreements. However, he is one intriguing character - someone different, someone to discover - and I must thank him for constantly setting me questions to think about. Questions about human characteristics. Questions about pride.

See, pride is a very funny thing. A human's pride is sort of like a personal space. Often, when pride is attacked, whether purposefully or accidentally, the owner feels invaded or disturbed, and will become defensive. It is different from self-defense, different from the fear of being physically hurt. Yet, it may yield more harm, mentally, to the person involved. He may respond physically, which is abusive, or verbally, which is sometimes funny and ridiculous but most times, hurtful.

W takes a strong stand in whatever he believes. I must say, in terms of eduacation and studies, he has everything in control and suited to his liking, or so it seems to me. To put simply, he is from a top school and of course, did very well in his 'A' levels. He puts meticulous care in his army work, which speaks a lot for an NSF. All in all, a great package for any employer. I would be proud of myself too if I were him.

However, I have observed tinges of overgrown pride in him. Not arrogance - but strong pride. Headstrong, obstinate, bullheaded, stiff-necked, pigheaded, mulish, whatever you want to call it, it is simply, stubborn-ness (if there was such a word). Conversations with him are never easy. He simply refuses to believe the facts that are put across to him. And again, I have to bring up the story which proves this best.

We were on the bus together going home one day when I suddenly asked which MRT station was closest to our camp. I vividly remembered its has two words and starts with T, while the mule believes it is Kembangan. We had a short argument which ended with the mutual decision to sms our campmate, who replied with instantaneous confidence - "Tanah Merah". So I was right. Yet the mule, being stubborn as he is, decided to consult another campmate. As expected, he was proven wrong again. I just laughed and sighed. And laughed again at his indignant looks.

W also responds ridiculously when accused by someone or his own conscience of doing something that is wrong. Here is an extract from his blog:

"Blackie wanted me to use my e-mart credit to buy 3 pairs of the new shoes, he wanted to pay me back the full amount in cash.....I was shocked...... Actually he wanted Reddy, Yellowy and me to buy a pair each for him, but i volunteered to buy all 3 for him at a lower price........... He was of course delighted, though he had already agreed with Yellowy and Reddy beforehand to buy a pair from them.
Actually i wanted to test him out to see whether he will break his promise to the other 2 guys or not, I was prepared to buy a pair for him nonetheless at a reduced price, since he was my friends wat.....
Ha Ha ...... In the end he really fell for it, took the cheap bargain from me and broke his promise to the other two guys....."

Names are replaced with colours to protect privacy.

Note the "Actually i wanted to test him out". The story has nothing to do with pride saving, it has more to do with "ass-protecting". But the phrase has been used once too many times to save his own pride. In fact, I was angry to actually see this story. I was even more angry to see the lame "ass- protecting". It was lame, it was ridiculous, it was pure hyprocrisy.

Strong pride must be checked early. The consequences are devastating - Like that of some high ranked personel in my camp. Futures of others may be at stake. I'm serious.

Strange as this may seem, there is no bad blood between W and me. Afterall, I know that he is actually a nice guy, with undoubtedly strong will and perseverance. (No, I dare swear this is NOT hypocrisy).

I would not say I am experienced in life, or even good with human characters - I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn. But I dare say a short stint in the army has taught me a lot. A lot about overgrown pride and its flaws.

And also to accept some human characteristics within others that may be irritating. Because, I am human too and I may possess such characteristics too. Thus, I dare and proudly claim that, W and I are still friends.

Just added Zhiwei to "Links"

Currently Feeling Like: Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) waiting to leave the substitutes bench and is called up to do some warming up.

---------------------------------

19:04
Sunday, March 14, 2004

____Overgrown Pride and its Flaw (Part 1)

Yay!! I have managed to switch my table from the left of the blog to the right, such that it will be easier for ya'll to read my entries. Hopefully it is less blurred now.
____________________________________________________________

One of the things i have learnt in my two years of national service, is the obvious, yet undiscussed problem with pride and "face". Recent past events have prompted me to rant about the hypocrisy that is brought about by pride. As such, immediate attention has to be put into this problem and I shall start the ball rolling in my blog.

In this example, general terms will have to be used for the fear of getting into some unwanted trouble, as such, the person I want to mention shall be labelled X . He commands a high rank in my camp, and is the first person to come to mind when discussing the problem of a big ego.
An ego so large, it could swallow the world world, and not to mention a few Jupiters and Saturns. My campmate, Y, has also blasted him and he even owns a blog entry that is dedicated to how unreasonable he can be just to save his face.

"No no... ya.. yah lah~... thats what i'm trying to say lah.. but u keep saying that... blah blah blah..." When somebody has proven X wrong, one can always hear him defend himself in this manner. As Y quoted, "he cuts u off midway thru your explanation" or even when you bring the "simple truth" before his eyes, he performs a Zidane version of a turn around, turning the tides back against you, twisting the facts, and then threathen to give you extras or just "CHARGE YOU!!" Then laugh his fake laugh and look to see if anyone laughs along with him. Leaving you to be the timid mouse, perplexed, and shiver with fear at the prospect of getting sent to DB. Or at least, that is what he thinks he has achieved. Purely toothless bites.

Such unreasonable self-defense is omnipresent in my camp. I see it almost everyday. I can even sense the next time X does it. It almost became funny. In fact, it is hilarious. It is fun identifying the next time he does it again. And when he does, I just laugh. In fact, I am laughing again just by thinking about it, at his incredulous tirade, such that I almost splurt my dinner out.

Such actions all boils down to the simple characteristic that everyone possess - "Pride". But X's pride is overgrown. Who can blame him? Afterall, he is the biggest and highest ranking shit in his vocation (though not for long I hope).
I suppose he has gotten used to the fact that people suck up to him (buying him canteen breaks) and the same people who will bear the brunt of his crap later. They are the people who give in, unwittingly causing the growth of his pride. A growth to an uncontainable, uncontrollable degree. He CANNOT take upsets, he can NEVER be proven wrong, he is ALWAYS right...

All this problems come along with qualifications (I shall discuss another example with "qualifications" in another entry), age, experience, and so-called wisdom.
Humans have adopted the "the young idiots do not know the facts"attitude. Yes, the young of course MUST listen to the old. Afterall, the old HAVE accumalated experience over the years. But what I do not see is the fact that they are stubborn. Unwilling to accept change.

Unwilling to accept the fact that someone is better.
Unwilling to accept that someone may be right afterall.
Unwilling to accept that they are WRONG...

Currently Feeling Like: Ryan Giggs looking at Jaap Stam ranting at his defence and ignoring Roy Keane's instructions and then, subsequently putting the ball into his own net. HaHa...

---------------------------------

09:37
Friday, March 12, 2004

____You're Added and Linked

I have been having my campmates under my influence in this blogger thing and I have managed to get some people to start writing their own diaries. It is really fun to see what people are thinking about events that happen in camp. Especially Wilson, I must say that his entries are really interesting and funny.

Funny we sabotaged my football kaki in camp, using his handphone to call one of his female friends. It was so funny to see his embarrased looks. But I suppose he is quite irritated too. Then again, who cares?! We are all guys, we are in camp, we are bored. What else can a few guys do? The handphone is a great outlet of fun for idle people like us!!

Anyways, I have been lacking the insiration to write recently. So just entered some crap. I hope some inspiration come along soon.

Just added Steven to "Links"

Currently Feeling Like: Having a kickabout and some fun with Roberto Carlos and Ronaldo (Real Madrid)

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09:43
Wednesday, March 10, 2004

____Bad start to the week.

It's been really bad this week. Really bad. I suppose things could not get worse than this. And as I type, my friend Jianfeng came to bug me and spin my head, literally.

Sunday was bad because there was no football. I really miss playing and up till now, i have not had a chance to run around buzzing all over like a busy bee on the playing field/court.

I got reprimanded three times in a row within less than an hour during the conduct of the IPPT test on Monday. Not that I minded, I can take criticisms, just that they were really minor problems and I do not understand the fuss that was kicked up.

Tuesday was the worse. I suppose the cold turkey and withdrawal symptoms of not playing football have taken place. And somehow me and two other friends starting kicking the gym ball around. Never did it occur to me that I have been unlucky the past two days, no thought of any sort told me to stop. And we were so unlucky, the CSM walked in, caught us and gave us one extra duty each. So petty. So ridiculous.
We slog so hard to make the centre run smoothly the way it did and now because of something so minor, we were dealt a sucker punch.

Anyway, it is Wednesday now. Hope i do not get into something stupid for the rest of the day. I still have six hours or so today.

Currently feeling like: Roy Keane dealing a perfect tackle that wins the ball but instead, shown a yellow card by the referee.

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00:37
Tuesday, March 09, 2004

____Pissed

After hours of editting and troubleshooting, I have finally added some form of "colour and lights" to my blog. However, there are still some problems that need tweaking. Example, words blurred and incomprehensible due to background. Will be trying to do more ammendments.

For a couple of days, much of my writing juices have ran out, until a few events today have aggravated me to feel like blasting a few people. However, due to the lengthy explanation and the likelyhood of using profanities, I have drawn up and summarised what I feel into a few conclusions.

Superiors who do not listen to their superiors faces insubordination from their subordinates.
Superiors, tend to think they are right.
SAF is crap.

Just added Horse to "Links"
Just updated template

Currently feeling like: Roy Keane dealing a vicious tackle that wins the ball.

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00:52
Sunday, March 07, 2004

____Wasting Time? Or Chilling Out?

Currently chilling out in camp with two of my friends. Earlier on, I was at home chilling out.

"CHilling Out" it is an overused phrase. What exactly does it mean? I do not know. But wat I do noe is that it is a very useful phrase to describe my weekends. Chill Out.

I just sit and rot my weekends away week in week out and wait. Wait for the next chance to play football again. Just so happen that I am just informed that weekend football is cancelled. Think I should start looking around for more football kakis. My usual football kakis have all lost it. Lost the passion. And the numbers attending Sunday football is depleting.

Returning to the point about chilling out, it is often viewed as a positive kind of activity. Relax, listen to music, enjoy refreshments... Thoughts and images of leisure and pampering oneself comes to mind.

However, for someone at my age, time does not allow for me to sit and slack. Most of my peers that i know do the same "chilling out". I do think that time can be better spent elsewhere upgrading and edifying oneself. I think I should find something other than football to spend my time in. At least, in the process of not playing football, i stand to gain some knowledge and life experiences. Thus, "Chilling Out" to me, is a form of time wasting so I tend to look down on people, especially those of my age group, when they mention they enjoy "chilling out on a sunday evening".

Leaving the topic on "Chilling Out", I want to note here that my brother scored 4As and GPA2 for his A levels! So proud of him!

Currently feeling like: Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) waiting to leave the substitutes bench.

---------------------------------

19:56
Friday, March 05, 2004

____

Today is my off day and i went to NTU to for my medical checkup. It is the first time I have been inside the Uni itself and I was awestruck by how immensely large it is. It was fortunate for my friend's vehicle and looking for the medical centre became instantly an easier job than walking around and searching for it.

What struck me more was the feeling and wierd looks that the students gave me and my friends. I thought we really looked out of place, as if we were walking around with four noses or something. Or was it just my hallucination? But I am quite sure we looked different in a way. Walking around with our large turtleshelled bags, short neat hairdos, loud guffaws, and of course the bad mouthing and vulgar language, I was quite sure the students knew we were from the SAF.

However, we came across a couple of students who were helpful enough to direct us to the exact location of the medical centre. It is actually amazing how they knew the way around.

Anyways, I am proud of myself today for giving up yet another bus seat for another elderly. It is not an act of responsibility, it is not an obligation. It was sincere, I am quite sure. Because it gave me satisfaction. Other kids in the bus were less selfless and sometimes i wonder.

Because I look at the kids nowadays and cannot understand why they are so rowdy, so noisy, and so embarrassing. Especially when they spew out a string of harmonious bad language. Embarrassing because there is really nothing one can do about it yet it really irks everyone on the bus. It really makes me wonder if I was like this in the past. Or even now for that matter.

Really hope I do not come across as a member of the "Bad Language Choir"

Just added Yueli to "Links"

Currently feeling like: Been tackled by Patrick Vieira (arsenal)

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21:59
Wednesday, March 03, 2004

____What Do You Wanna Do With Your Life?

I have sort of figured out why i wanted to do a blog. Firstly, it has probably to do with my liking for writing. And secondly, like what i have noted in my first entry, it is to vent some frustrations out. And because of the liking for writing, i have decided to express myself in proper English and also using the correct punctuations and of course, no shorthand of any form. And of course, there are also many corrections to make to my blog along the way, but it shall be done in stages.

Today, I have just submitted the "Form for Returning National Servicemen" confirming that I am able to enrol for Engineering course in the year 2004.
And i have realised two things that will feature significantly for the rest of my life from this simple act.

I hate administration. I hate the way we have to apply for everything that we want, but i also understand the importance of it. I am someone who likes everything to be kept as simple as possible with everything neatly mapped out for me to follow. I was indignant when my section instructor during my Sispec days told me that I am more of a follower than a leader and that I needed more time to develop leading skills. Afterall, I was a leader in my secondary school uniform group in some point of my life. As such, i was seething from that comment. Nevertheless, I took the criticism in my stride and now I have come to agree to a certain extent that, yes, I do need guidance during the points of my life when change is inevitable. Thus, I am grateful to my peers who have helped me somehow or another in discovering the channels to go to in administrating for certain stuff, namely Uni admissions. And I have learnt to appreciate the convenience that comes along with having access to the Internet.

Learn to be independant. Learn to live with administration.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

In the process of filling up the form, just before clicking on the "submit" button, a thought that was kept at the back of my head for two years suddenly hit me like a bullet.

"What exactly do I want to do with my life? Is engineering the course for me?"

I realised that this is another a major question that needs to be looked into. I also realised that I have avoided this question by conveniently telling myself that "some people, at a ripe old age of forty, didn't know what to do with our lives."

Is this the right thinking? I wish someone is there to answer me. Because I have not really enjoyed or excelled in any subject areas unless I count football in, and I know I have not excelled in that area yet. Being a kiasu Singaporean, I know that the option of football really will not make the cut here, especially being already 20, the chances are really slim. I suppose it is still not too late to start thinking. But i also realise that given my abysmal A level results, and the fact that I did not sit for SAT, changing courses is really out of the question for me.

What I can do now, is sit, think, plot out my route and go about doing what I need to do, re-plotting at every possible milestone or failure, to really excel in whatever that I would be doing. Somebody, who reads this, will have to constantly remind me about my goals and targets. And persistantly ask me this question, should I stray, to get me thinking again:

"What exactly do YOU want to do with YOUR life?"

I hope I can answer this before the "ripe old age of forty".

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22:24
Tuesday, March 02, 2004

____

sometimes i wonder if my body is suitable to take up so many sporting activities, namely football and running... there's also a misconception that someone who is good in running long distances can play football all day long... and at high intensity... see, my body isn't the most biomechanically efficient... in fact, there are many problems with my body... so sometimes i fear i find the truth during medical checkups... well, i'm doing one sometime soon... maybe tml or friday... i'll decide later. but let me start on my running injuries that i've incurred this lifetime...

1.shinsplints. caused by muscle imbalance during my trainnee time in sch of phy. training.i was a novice and my shin hurt but it gradually disappeared as i became stronger.. no prob with that...

2.black toes. caused by sliding foot in shoe or cramped toe boxes in shoes...the least of my running probs gave a painful toe which isn't that bad, other than making my feet look ugly... haha

3.bunions. deformity of big toe that causes the 1st joint of the toe to angle outward and the tip to point inward. happens to me with my little toes... again, a small problem, juz makes my feet ugly... and yes, i've got really ugly feet... i noe... large and flat at that... hahaha...

4.morton's toe. HahAhA~ sounds like another scary lookin toe. its a disorder that happens to 25% of the pop. such that the 2nd toe is longer than the big toe.causes pain in the ball of the foot towards the large toes, due to nerve inflammation. happened to me during AHM training and tends to hurt a lot during the toe-off phase when i run. but now it seems to have cured on its own after a period of lull and less intensive running.

5.runners' knee. caused by pronating feet when running. twisting of the knee and lower leg inwards with every step causes the kneecap to rub against the leg bone of thigh.painful chronic ache which i suspect i'm currently suffering from, even though i've not seen a specialist for it... its irritating!!

see my problems? i haven't even go to the injuries inflicted by football... too bad i've got bad biomechanics... but then, live for the moment! haha... dun care lah~ still can play football can liao~ heehee...

and oh... to correct the misconception, high performing runners training intensively are more likely to suffer sports injuries to themselves when playing football or even tennis, than some couch potato who hasn't been training for the past lifetime...

so for anyone who reads this, please enlighten ppl who are sports/running enthusiasts, about the danger of bad biomechanics...

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12:49
Monday, March 01, 2004

____

its suppose to be "NSF day" today. no regulars around... no restrictions.. and i tot we could play football in the morning...
turns out the bloody oscars spoilt the whole thing... most of them wanted to watch the awards show... and others played "magic the gathering"... wat crap~
but its the oscars i cannot take... why why why do ppl wanna watch others live their lives on tv when they can live their own reality?!
i dun give a damn about who the f*** wins wat award... i mean... if i got time to do something more meaningful, why do i care about the tv?!
so in the end the enthusiasts went for a kickabout on the field... and then, a jog round the track... haiz... boring day..

anyways... yesterday nite was a nite of mixed feelings... contacted a good fren whom i haven't met in a while... but then my excadet came back to haunt me...
all thanks to the friendster thingy... see, there are good and bad stuff about frenster.
one good thing is u can see who is related to u and how they are related to u... and of coz the more obvious reason would be gals...
but then some ppl whom u think u've gotten rid off can find u there too... haiz... worse still they can add u in msn and keep msging u.... luckily i've mastered the art of 1 word answers... so think i portrayed a very boring image of myself to send the monster away... yeah!!!

i'll be lookin to add more ppl in my links too so that ya'll can view their interesting lives... heehee...

hope i get to play football soon again...

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____T.A.G.B.O.A.R.D

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