____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

____Not Here, Not There... Yet

Another day to sit and stare at the computer screen. It's a wonder my eyesight do not get any worse. Been rather uneventful in the last few days too. Same old back to camp, play football, and eat. My decision to run at least these few days have not been resolved yet. I suppose this is the attitude of an ORD-personnel - to slack.
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My life has been topsy turvy. It is either not here or not there. I have not been really outstanding in anyway. And this was proven yesterday. Yesterday was disappointing. As usual, I went looking for a football game on a Sunday morning. To my dismay, the usual football hang out turns out to be empty - a sight that has been very common nowadays - I wonder where are all the sunday football fanatics.

And so my friend suggested to go to NYJC to play. I hate to go there.

Firstly, sometimes the gates will be locked and we had to climb in. No problem with that. Afterall, the SAF did not train me to clear obstacles for nothing. It is just that I do not understand why we had to go through such trouble and pain just to play a game of football. It is quite embarrassing with the passers- by looking on at us too. So, somehow the idea of going to NYJC is always a turn off.

Secondly, the people there are good. And I do not mean that they are very skilful. Yes, there are always more skilful people around. But the difference is that these people have played with each other for quite some time. They understand each others' moves and style very well. As such, their teams are very strong. On the other hand, my friends and I do not play with each other that often now. It does not help with one of your teammates thinks he is a wonderful player - dribbling all the way down to touchline and taking a shot there - sounds stupid, but that is what he does. THAT is NOT the way to play football! The worse thing is, he starts bad mouthing when somebody makes a mistake. GRRR....

As expected, our team got the thrashing we deserved. Totally outplayed, outran, and outlast. Gobbled, chewed and spitted out. A total blow to my confidence. I have been playing well in camp and suddenly, someone dealt a sucker punch, and there I lie, still reeling from the pain.

Suddenly, a thought hit me. The sudden truth that maybe I still am not good enough. The "not here, not there" symdrome. It has come back to haunt me again. It has always been this syndrome. The good but not good enough syndrome. I need to train harder and play more intelligently - in terms of football.

In terms of other issues like studies, it is a matter of concentration and how much I want to do well. Hopefully, I am a person who is not here, not there... YET...

By the way, an old friend's birthday needs special mention here.
So... Happy Birthday, Yueli!

Currently Feeling Like: Diego Forlan (man utd) needing extra training.

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