____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

01:21
Monday, July 26, 2004

____Hall One Freshman Orientation Camp

My first entry done in NTU.

What a hit! Totally great fun. The seniors were great and even though some of the freshies were "off", I managed to warm up to those more enthusiastic ones during the later part of the camp.

See, that is the problem with me. I need time to know people. I need even more time to dare to speak to girls. But at least I am learning now. Okay, I am trying to learn now. And I am learning fast I hope. Dad hinted to me about getting a girlfriend for the first time in my life. God, it was awkward. Hell, I'll try.

Anyways, although Junming will complain about it, I got to mention that I have not been playing football again. Yes, deja vu, but I am really itching for a game. Itching to try out all the guys in NTU around me and their skills and where I stand. If they are better, I can learn from them. If I am better, well, at least I can enjoy beating the crap out of them. Hee. They better not read these.

And so I have kickstarted my life here in NTU. The people are great. Now it is just to learn whether the studying is tough. GOTTA WORK HARD MAN.

Currently Feeling Like: Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) enjoying life in Manchester United.

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18:21
Monday, July 19, 2004

____Busy

Okay. I will be rather busy these few days but after that I will probably have something to write about. I just passed my driving test too. What a relief. Now I can concentrate on some other things in life and move on. Move on to Uni life. Get prepared and study hard. I hope to do well. Really hope to.

The driving test went rather smoothly. It was lucky I did not let the incident of the car rolling down the slope affect my other performances. I think I surprised even myself, because I was changing lanes smoothly and handling the toughest lane changing all by myself. For the first time.

The next few days will be at NTU for FOC. Currently my thoughts on it are still quite negative. But I hope it will be something like the Rosyth outing. Getting to meet new people and getting to know old ones all over again. Oh damn... the stupid NTU people called again to ask when I'm going over. "Ya.. soon... tonight"

So naggy.

But I am glad. Most of the busy stuff unrelated to NTU is over. Oh. And I need to get a computer for my room. I am just wondering how am I going to settle it. How am I going to open my mouth to ask for Dad's opinion. He will probably nag about not spending too much time on the computer playing games. Hmmm... I think I got over playing games for now. Just use them to pass time.

So, I think I can concentrate now. I hope.

Currently Feeling Like: Cristiano Ronaldo (Man Utd) unable to wait any longer for the new season to start.

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20:48
Saturday, July 17, 2004

____Rosyth CLASS 95 FM Fond Memories

Kudos to Victor who had the guts to organise what I thought might be the biggest Primary Schhol outing to date. He was resourceful, persistant and went about doing it with great belief.

The turn out was not the best. Not many people could make it. And I did not know most of the people. Or even if I did, I've never seen them in awhile. It was not the most fun outing I have been to - outings with girls can't possibly get more exhilarating than a game of football. I did not think about how getting to meet up with long ago friends would benifit me. However, it was kind of great seeing how everyone is getting on fine. How some are going overseas to study. How some grew up over the years. How some from young punks becoming toned down(yeah... it is you, S).

I also got to know people who actually know me, yet I did not know them. It was really strange. People were saying "there... that guy is Robin." While I was thinking, "who are these?" It was strange. Yet it make me feel special. Feel remembered. It was great. Maybe I should try to know all these people all over again. Put the images of how geekish everyone looked in the past at the back of my head. Give myself a chance to know them all over again.

Currently Feeling Like: Beckham (Real Madrid) at a new country, new club.

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21:52
Tuesday, July 13, 2004

____Maybe I was Wrong...

Okay. Maybe I was wrong about the previous entry. Maybe I should be more patient with people. Maybe I should realise that not everyone is as fit as me.

I always thought "So what if you stood all day waiting for your friend? I just ran 21km!"

I should not be thinking that way. I'll just hurt people.

What happened a few days back slightly changed my mind. Maybe I should not be stubborn. I should not try to prove that I am pissed with tired complaints. I should just be a nicer person and be more understanding to people's needs. So whoever I said "I don't really care" to, I did not mean it. I probably was being stubborn - being truthful to my blog.

A blog is not a person. I do not have to feel responsible to it. Though I do realise I have to be responsible for what I write in it.

So, whoever I pissed off for being too insensitive, you all got to know that maybe the dumbass that pissed you off had a bad day again.

Currently Feel Like: More! More football!! I wanna play!

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16:31
Thursday, July 08, 2004

____Tired of Tired Complaints

Feeling tired lately. Really tired. Maybe not tired, just sleepy. It is weird how sleeping and boredom lead to more sleep and boredom. I am like a bear now. Currently under hibernation. I sleep so much nowadays, I almost did not realise time is sneaking by. The army's standard seven hours of sleep does not seem enough for me. I indulge in another two to three hours more in the afternoons. Weird because life now is certainly not as strenuous as during my National Service years, yet I seem to feel more sleepy.

I realise that there are a few excuses that Singaporeans use to explain their behavior - their reluctance to admit fault. One of which is pressure/stress. The other is tiredness/exhaustion. If the above four words are humans, they would be the most innocent human parties of all time. For every sickening mistake that everyone commits, these words are always the main culprits. Of course, if you are better at noticing than me, there are more excuses, but the above two are the most common. Or so it seems to me.

I was complaining to my friend the other night about how many people seem to like complaining about tiredness. (I probably was tired myself... haha). I was irritated by the number of "Aiyah.. Tired lah" complaints I get everyday. It is irritating. I am not the kind who really complains of being tired, unless I am about to fall asleep even when standing straight moments ago. So the situation will be like in the following case study -

X worked all day and met his friend Y after work to complain of tiredness. While Y has his own work all day, and went for a swim before meeting X. It is as if Y is not tired himself!

In a way, most of the time I am like Y. Listening to the complaints and then when I try to complain my own, people just shut me up and literally wave their hand and say "bah!"

Everyone has their own problems. If the flower pot fell on your head, I probably would be slightly concerned. But do not complain to others about how your stupid dog itched when a mosquito stung it!

Currently Feeling Like: Tired. Exhausted. Lacking match fitness.

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14:07
Thursday, July 01, 2004

____Like an Ant...

Been getting fat. Food has been good everyday and chances of exercise is little after NS. But I am determined to make the process slow and hopefully prolong and maintain my fitness.

I also realised that by not working, I am wasting resouces. Wasting money. My friend, who got a job immediately after NS is now lamenting the fact that he regrets working now. I think he envies me. He said he could spend the time doing more things that he all along really wanted to do.

On the other hand, I am envious of him making full use of his time and not wasting resources. I guess that there is always opportunity costs in whatever you do. You gain some, you lose some. I hope I gain more than I lose though.
_____________________________________________________

If I did not remember wrongly, the law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed. This means that energy can only be changed from one form to another. Since heat (energy) is a by-product of almost all work that is done, does it mean that there will one day, all forms of energy will be converted into heat? Then, does it mean that the end of the world is inevitable?

Maybe. Maybe not. The argument above is not totally flawless. This is because heat does convert back into other forms of energy. A very simple example is the convection of air. Heat makes hot air. Hot air moves up, cold air moves down, and the cycle continues. Heat, in this case, is converted into kinetic energy. Yet one may argue again that does it (kinetic energy) not produce heat again? Hmmm...

One thing for sure is that the world's resources is not limitless. I wonder what happens on the day when we realise that all the countries' governments have run the earth dry with all the competition for prosperity and all the bidding to make the standard of human living higher.

By promoting childbirth and increase in population, is Singapore guilty also of running earth dry? Do we assume that there is still much to tap from the earth to make living better and that we need more human resource to tap them? Or is it true that there are still lots of resources to tap from? And is that reason for reproducing? For continuing the line of human generations that will enable us to survive? Do we realise that it may just be a folly that will lead us all to extinction?

From a larger point of view, is it not that the whole human population is just like an enormous ant nest? We are in some way or another instructed by our respective governments to move in one direction or another. We are just like our little six-legged counterparts, who are directed by their ant queen to search for food, feed her, so that generations of ants will reproduce. So that ants do not die out - do not extinct.

Do we sometimes laugh at the ants? Stomp on them? Kill them with spray and curse them when we leave our food unattended? Do we folly again by saying that ants are just mindless living things?
Do we label them "brainless" on occasion? Do we realise that we are similar to them?

We are all working so hard. Working to survive. Working to earn money and feed our families.

Do we realise that there may be another race of 4-dimensioned beings calling us brainless too? Sounds absurd does it not?

I do not know. Sometimes I just happen to consider what the hell are we living for. I cannot help thinking that I am just a minute "ant" in this generation to help in the quest for human survival. Then what after this generation? What comes next?

Currently Feeling Like: Scholes (Man Utd) in a unfamiliar left wing position, feeling lost and helpless.

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____T.A.G.B.O.A.R.D

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