up from my brain is where I bleed...
____F.I.N.D.I.N.G
Searching
Refective
Enigmatic
____M.Y.S.E.L.F
My life spins outta control without football.
Currently in search for inner peace.
Finding myself furthur and furthur away from it..
____F.O.R.E.V.E.R
Archives
Searching
Refective
Enigmatic
____M.Y.S.E.L.F
My life spins outta control without football.
Currently in search for inner peace.
Finding myself furthur and furthur away from it..
____F.O.R.E.V.E.R
Archives
- February 2004
- March 2004
- April 2004
- May 2004
- June 2004
- July 2004
- August 2004
- September 2004
- October 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- October 2005
- November 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- March 2006
- April 2006
- May 2006
- June 2006
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- June 2008
- Current Posts
____T.H.E. .P.L.A.Y.E.R.S
[Yayi] [Peiyi] [Jaron] [May]
[Chuiying] [Junming] [Wilson] [Kailin]
[Raymond] [Jack] [Yiyang] [Junjie]
[Sheng Wei] [Wenkeat] [Jingying] [Yoshiki]
[Steven] [Tillerman] [Stickgal] [Link]
____T.H.E. .C.L.U.B.S
[Soccernet]
[Soccerclips]
[Runnersworld]
[Saucony]
[Gaze]
[RHCP]
[Yoshiki]
[Hide]
[IndiependentMusic]
____S.P.O.N.S.O.R.S
[Link]
[blogspot]
[blogskins]
|ll|ll|l||ll||ll|l|ll|
allrightsreserve
[Yayi] [Peiyi] [Jaron] [May]
[Chuiying] [Junming] [Wilson] [Kailin]
[Raymond] [Jack] [Yiyang] [Junjie]
[Sheng Wei] [Wenkeat] [Jingying] [Yoshiki]
[Steven] [Tillerman] [Stickgal] [Link]
____T.H.E. .C.L.U.B.S
[Soccernet]
[Soccerclips]
[Runnersworld]
[Saucony]
[Gaze]
[RHCP]
[Yoshiki]
[Hide]
[IndiependentMusic]
____S.P.O.N.S.O.R.S
[Link]
[blogspot]
[blogskins]
|ll|ll|l||ll||ll|l|ll|
allrightsreserve
11:52
Friday, October 29, 2004
Friday, October 29, 2004
____Dilemma
I have two bugging problems.
One is the exams - which require immediate attention.
The other is the state of my life - which also requires immediate attention.
The attention paid to my exams is disrupted by the problem regarding the state of my life. I cannot concentrate.
If I go and settle this problem, my exams will have to go down the water.
I have 2 choices -
a) Hang on and study and wait for exams pass before settling the problem - at the risk of losing my health.
b) Go settle the problem and have a peaceful mind and risk flunking the exams.
What should I do??
Currently Feeling Like: Forlan's shit.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
One is the exams - which require immediate attention.
The other is the state of my life - which also requires immediate attention.
The attention paid to my exams is disrupted by the problem regarding the state of my life. I cannot concentrate.
If I go and settle this problem, my exams will have to go down the water.
I have 2 choices -
a) Hang on and study and wait for exams pass before settling the problem - at the risk of losing my health.
b) Go settle the problem and have a peaceful mind and risk flunking the exams.
What should I do??
Currently Feeling Like: Forlan's shit.
---------------------------------
04:33Sunday, October 24, 2004
____...
It is the third day in a row that I am still wide awake at 0400hrs.
Damn the exam is turning my whole damned life upside down. I'm totally not in control now. Not even when I did the least I could to try to study. The concepts don't go in, my solutions give wrong answers, the standard solutions don't make sense.
I feel like puking up. My stomach is weird after all the sickening suppers in the middle of the night. My brain is packed. My limbs are strands of rubberbands.
I wanna fucking run up and down the fucking empty street from Hall 1 to 4 screaming at the top of my fucking lungs.
FUCK.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Damn the exam is turning my whole damned life upside down. I'm totally not in control now. Not even when I did the least I could to try to study. The concepts don't go in, my solutions give wrong answers, the standard solutions don't make sense.
I feel like puking up. My stomach is weird after all the sickening suppers in the middle of the night. My brain is packed. My limbs are strands of rubberbands.
I wanna fucking run up and down the fucking empty street from Hall 1 to 4 screaming at the top of my fucking lungs.
FUCK.
---------------------------------
20:35Wednesday, October 20, 2004
____I change my mind...
Like I said...
I change my mind... I'll be watching Jingru perform coming Monday...
Unfortunately, I have only one ticket. If I do happen to have another, that'll be for you, Junming. Don't worry, I will not be giving it to that snake of a Royce...
wahahahA~
Currently Feeling Like: Career ended...
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
I change my mind... I'll be watching Jingru perform coming Monday...
Unfortunately, I have only one ticket. If I do happen to have another, that'll be for you, Junming. Don't worry, I will not be giving it to that snake of a Royce...
wahahahA~
Currently Feeling Like: Career ended...
---------------------------------
13:37Tuesday, October 19, 2004
____It's Raining
Here in my room the fan spins at its highest speed, the air is cool and I'm wearing two shirts. I have this sense of happiness in me today. I don't know why. Maybe because I really enjoyed my last game of football last Sunday and I cannot wait for exams to be over.
I've returned to 1990s!! Listening to 张学友 and 刘德华 songs. Evergreen, ever nice. Cantopop really makes me feel at ease, comfy and relieved from exam stress temporarily.
The rain makes everything all the better. I feel like sleeping now. I feel like studying now. I feel like walking in the rain. I feel that I am revived and can do a thousand things.
I feel like sharing an umbrella.
Currently Feeling Like: Finally bringing my footballing career to a beautiful end.
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
I've returned to 1990s!! Listening to 张学友 and 刘德华 songs. Evergreen, ever nice. Cantopop really makes me feel at ease, comfy and relieved from exam stress temporarily.
The rain makes everything all the better. I feel like sleeping now. I feel like studying now. I feel like walking in the rain. I feel that I am revived and can do a thousand things.
I feel like sharing an umbrella.
Currently Feeling Like: Finally bringing my footballing career to a beautiful end.
---------------------------------
15:42Wednesday, October 13, 2004
____Oh Look What You've Done...
You've deleted Winning Eleven 7 from your computer. Well done! One of the important decisions to get it out of my head so that I can spend more time studying (hopefully).
Mingjun came over last night, had a pretty pleasant dinner of McDonald's. Not that motorbike-mashed Big Macs were delicious, but it is really nice to have something different. Someone to bring dinner to your room, to your doorstep. Sometimes we just need to be treated like kings and queens. Nice having a friend over from NUS for a visit too. At least, better than wasting brain-power figuring out whether to go Canteen1, or 2, or 5...
I decided also to take a break from football. Coming Sunday will be my last in awhile. Sounds incredible, but I am getting sick of it - not enjoying it as much as before. Especially after the last few times I have played, I haven't been performing well.
Another reason is that my back is still hurting from the "garang guni" crap. Lifting too much load with my back. Yeah, I am conscious of damaging my back when lifting loads, but at that point of time, I suppose I was just too tired to take note of my posture. Regretting is too late, now even when I trip while walking or kick into something, my back acts up badly. I need a break for a while. Anyway, this break will coincide with the exams, so I don't think this will be much of a miss.
Liang Jingru is coming to NTU to perform. When I learnt of this information, I was overjoyed but the joy eroded as quickly as it surfaced. The performance is when examination period is near. No way am I sacrificing my future for someone who isn't part of my life. Though I must admit that I really like her image - squeaky-clean and girl-next-door. There will be other chances I suppose.
Programming is very fulfilling after seeing your baby, which you've spent hours on, finally working...
Currently Feeling Like: Eric Cantona (ex Man Utd) quitting football.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Mingjun came over last night, had a pretty pleasant dinner of McDonald's. Not that motorbike-mashed Big Macs were delicious, but it is really nice to have something different. Someone to bring dinner to your room, to your doorstep. Sometimes we just need to be treated like kings and queens. Nice having a friend over from NUS for a visit too. At least, better than wasting brain-power figuring out whether to go Canteen1, or 2, or 5...
I decided also to take a break from football. Coming Sunday will be my last in awhile. Sounds incredible, but I am getting sick of it - not enjoying it as much as before. Especially after the last few times I have played, I haven't been performing well.
Another reason is that my back is still hurting from the "garang guni" crap. Lifting too much load with my back. Yeah, I am conscious of damaging my back when lifting loads, but at that point of time, I suppose I was just too tired to take note of my posture. Regretting is too late, now even when I trip while walking or kick into something, my back acts up badly. I need a break for a while. Anyway, this break will coincide with the exams, so I don't think this will be much of a miss.
Liang Jingru is coming to NTU to perform. When I learnt of this information, I was overjoyed but the joy eroded as quickly as it surfaced. The performance is when examination period is near. No way am I sacrificing my future for someone who isn't part of my life. Though I must admit that I really like her image - squeaky-clean and girl-next-door. There will be other chances I suppose.
Programming is very fulfilling after seeing your baby, which you've spent hours on, finally working...
Currently Feeling Like: Eric Cantona (ex Man Utd) quitting football.
---------------------------------
17:30Tuesday, October 05, 2004
____Failure
In a space of less than a week, hat-trick hero - Wayne Rooney was brought tumbling back all the way to humble Earth. In a space of less than a week, the whole world of truths and facts struck right into me at a velocity greater than the speed of light.
Fact number 1. The examinations are around the corner and I'm studying hard. Correction - I'm trying hard to study. Studying is not my forte. And I hate the way I cannot absorb stuff.
Fact number 2. People say I am fast. I am not. Not that I would not like to say I am fast. I just hate it when I cannot live up to peoples' expectations.
Fact number 3. I totally let myself down last Saturday during the football friendly against Hall 7. I cannot stand it when I see better players than me. I hate it when I don't play to my expectations.
Fact number 4. I cannot help being distracted by tons of things like MSN, blogging. surfing the net, and primarily football, when I want to get down to doing work.
Fact number 5. I'm sleepy all the time.
Fact number 6. Examinations are around the corner and I'm grumbling about it here.
I am not superman. I am tired. Wayne Rooney is not superman. He gets injured too. He is not everything to a team. Sometimes he will be brought back down to Earth. But he is far happier than me, at least from my point of view. I hate watching EPL's young stars. I hate they way they enjoy doing things I like and getting paid so much for it.
Currently Feeling Like: Wayne Rooney (Man Utd). Except I'm not Wayne Rooney.
Fact number 1. The examinations are around the corner and I'm studying hard. Correction - I'm trying hard to study. Studying is not my forte. And I hate the way I cannot absorb stuff.
Fact number 2. People say I am fast. I am not. Not that I would not like to say I am fast. I just hate it when I cannot live up to peoples' expectations.
Fact number 3. I totally let myself down last Saturday during the football friendly against Hall 7. I cannot stand it when I see better players than me. I hate it when I don't play to my expectations.
Fact number 4. I cannot help being distracted by tons of things like MSN, blogging. surfing the net, and primarily football, when I want to get down to doing work.
Fact number 5. I'm sleepy all the time.
Fact number 6. Examinations are around the corner and I'm grumbling about it here.
I am not superman. I am tired. Wayne Rooney is not superman. He gets injured too. He is not everything to a team. Sometimes he will be brought back down to Earth. But he is far happier than me, at least from my point of view. I hate watching EPL's young stars. I hate they way they enjoy doing things I like and getting paid so much for it.
Currently Feeling Like: Wayne Rooney (Man Utd). Except I'm not Wayne Rooney.
---------------------------------
____T.A.G.B.O.A.R.D
