____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

____Oh That Silly Grin...

What a Sunday!!

Climaxes and anti-climaxes of emotions and feelings. My busy day started comparatively calm. Had a nice breakfast at home hung around so that my parents don't miss my presence.

Soon after lunch, I made my way back to NTU for the road relay competition. I haven't really spoke about my captain role in this team - whether to adopt a disciplinarian style, or a carefree style. Quite difficult to lead a bunch of people who are your peers and some have decent running records too (The Flash come to mind there). Maybe I've lost that bit of leadership in me since leaving NPCC.

Anyway, our team did not do very well. It suddenly occured to me that to build a winning team in this race, the average timing of the guys have to hit at around 7min 30sec, while the girls will have to have a decent timing of about 9 minutes.

I have a few confessions to make since being the captain.
Firstly, I was not motivated to seek out the really talented runners. Most of my team was based on recommendations by others. One of the "should haves" would be to give time trials to every runner to test their ability.
Secondly, I was not motivated and firm enough to get on with training. It did not help to come down with an untimely injury although I know this should not be used as an excuse. The injury demoralised me. I did not have the drive that I felt at the start since being named captain.
Next, I was also afraid of how the morale of the team would turn out. I still maintain that it is not very nice to expect your peers to slog their holiday away training hard for a race while their captain relaxes and basks in the glory should the team win.
Lastly, and this is most probably the biggest mistake I made was that I let my head follow my heart. I was not only demoralised by my injury, I allowed my heart to flow to my first love - football. I realised I was concentrating and spending a lot more time on football than running.

I want to apologise for all my failings as a captain. I know I will not be the captain for the next round of IH road relay. I probably will not have another shot at it given my failings anyway. Nevertheless, I want to thank all the people, especially Ruren, who have given and shown tremendous support and understanding to the difficulties I face. If possible, when I am fit again and drafted into next year's team, I will give my utmost support and experience to the newly appointed captain whoever he/she may be (especially in terms of training methods).
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After the race, demoralised, sad, utterly lost and miserable, I made my way to the National Stadium eager to liven my spirits by seeing Singapore lift the Tiger Cup. The team did not disappoint. Indra scoring an opportunistic goal and earning another penalty for Agu to convert, making sure the Indonesians would never get to see light at the end of the tunnel.

The atmosphere was great. Cheering and jeering, Kallang wave, Kallang roar, shouts of "referee kayu!" all brought that special tingle to my spine. It has been a while since local football brought such a sensation to me.

Yet while everything was great and all, nothing beats meeting an old friend. Of all people, of all places, of all times, that person had to appear there and then, while I was talking on the phone and feeling all flustered about not having my ticket with me. I saw that silly grin again. Somehow, it lacked the coldness and nonchalance - on the other hand, it was rather warm and kind.

Oh that silly grin...

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