____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

01:36
Thursday, February 24, 2005

____Shiok?!

Think of something that you are good at doing and that you are very proud of it.

Now think of how you enjoyed doing it.

Ask yourself how many times people have praised you and acknowledged that you are good at that particular activity.

Have you beamed at the compliments?

Have you thought about trying to improve at that particular ability? Like upgrading yourself? Working extra hard? Putting in extra effort to improve?

Now think about the satisfaction you gained and achieved after doing well in that activity. Wasn't it great?

Imagine now you can't involve in that particular activity anymore. For example, you're a superb computer programmer. Somehow you now suffer from arthritis and your fingers hurt so much now that you cannot bear to type. In other words, you've lost it.

Shiok?!

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12:34
Sunday, February 20, 2005

____Night Cycling

It's been a day after night cycling. Still suffering from the after effects. Butt pain, tender palms, and sore thighs. Nevertheless, it was a fun night. I've woken up at 4 am to cycle to Serangoon and at 5am to cycle to Khatib, so I cannot say it wasn't my first time cycling when the sun hides behind the horizon. But it was my first time cycling over night, over a distance that I probably won't get another chance covering.

It began when I decided that I would like to use my own bike. But I know of the consequences too. Cycling my own bike down to the start point, which was also the end point at East Coast, meant that I had to cycle my own bike home from East Coast. I did it. While the rest covered 45km or so, I would have stretched my limit to the max by covering probably 60 plus kilometres.

I left the group of friends at the end of the event at around 0620 to rush back before the traffic became heavy. Initially, the ride was easy and smooth. As there were little cars, I kept my bike on the road. The flat road and cool air made it all easier. I was in max gear and crusing easily...

Till I came to the road the links hougang and ubi, after the roundabout. The road was curving, sloped upwards and the traffic started to get heavy. My thigh muscles almost came to temporary failure. Instead of riding on my bike, I was dragging it along.

When I finally got home, destination achieved, I was so relieved. Don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon.

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22:24
Monday, February 14, 2005

____The Event, The Closing

CNY is always so tiring. So many people to entertain. So many questions to answer. I finally got down to asking my cousin about her physio job. Apparently she deals more with hands than torso physio, though she was really helpful and offered to help me ask her colleagues.

Last Friday went to the nearby polyclinic to seek a second diagnosis. The female doctor was so relunctant to refer me to a physio. Bloody shit. Must be helping the government save subsidy money. And I even missed the day's lessons. But who's complaining? Not me! Hahaha

Saturday was an eating marathon. Eat and eat and eat and eat. In fact, the whole CNY was a iron man eating triathlon. Eat and eat. Sunday morning was the first time I helped myself to 4 damned roti pratas. My uncle must have thought he was feeding a tyrannosaurus or something.

So my activity-filled week long break came to an abrupt, anti-climatic end. Tiredness and mild depression took over again. I stared and gazed, dazedly at the television the whole Sunday night, watching moneymind, old chinese movies, variety shows, reality shows. Damn. So time wasting.

Anyway, today is Vday. Happy Vday to everyone. But it dawned upon me that school starts again and I've lots to catch up.

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01:42
Wednesday, February 09, 2005

____La La La La La!!!

I'm so hyper now! It's CNY! TIme for all the fun again! Wahahaha!!!

Oh man, it's been really a wonderful start to the year. So I decided to pen this down. But I shan't tell you what's so wonderful just yet. Heh...

By the way, I've got an announcement to make. I really would like to help my friends out you know. Share all their troubles. And of course, share their joys too. Especially when there's really happy news. Tell me about it! TELL ME!!!!

Oh yeah, did I mention CNY is my favourite time of the year? It is! It really is!!!

Wahahaha!!!

Oooh.. I love the parody of paradoxes!!

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03:43
Sunday, February 06, 2005

____Some mumblings

It's been another week of emotional up and down. I've really been letting a lot of things get to me and it's surprising I still am standing up after being on the receiving end of blows after blows. Really in a rather horrid depression, but like what JY mentioned, it is still up to oneself to be able to climb out of everything and be happy again. It is a choice. I choose to be happy and in the midst of being happy, I'll let sarcasm lead me on - my only way of moving on.

How does sarcasm work? Many would find it weird to hear of sarcasm as a driving force. But we see it in everyday life. Anyone who's been to Basic Military Training in Tekong, would probably realise they're in for a tough time. Yet every night, there would be some laughter going on in the bunks. Why? Why would there be laughter if the army was such hardship?

There are two ways of dealing with adversity. One is to moan and groan, the other is to laugh it off. There is no real need of going into the moaning portion, but maybe some would like an explanation of "laughing" things off. Remember the platoon clowns that seem to enjoy their time in BMT? Those who imitate their fiercest commanders? What about the time when everyone was in pushup position? Wasn't there a sarcastic mutter under the breath about the sergeant? At least one of those remarks would have come across as funny. That would have been sarcasm.

However, the dangerous thing about sarcasm is when all the laughter wears off, when no one is around to share the moment of sarcasm, tiredness takes over. And you realise that maybe things aren't so easily "laughed off" at times.

Sarcasm is not really a good outlet but yes, move on I will. But don't stand up and applause and congratulate me yet, don't come over and pat me on the back yet, and don't even present me with the slightest praise yet. I'd rather go about doing it my own way without interference or anything.

Maybe I would start by setting an aim for myself. A new target, a goal. Something that I know I would enjoy when I get there. The problem is sports seems to be out of the question now that I'm STILL injured. Things get really sucky when there's no aim in life. Hmmm... maybe I should set myself a target date to get well in time so that I can once again grace my footballing world.

In the meantime, maybe someone just come along to give me some ideas on goal setting. At the same time, for those who've really seen me playing football, I'd like to be remembered as a fleet-footed, passionate and imaginative raw talent that is in the waiting to be polished(put bluntly, a footballer that will never be...), just in case I never get back to playing.

Okay, it's late and I still don't know why I chose to write this entry so late in the night, but I think I'm off to sleep now..

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____T.A.G.B.O.A.R.D

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