____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

____Some mumblings

It's been another week of emotional up and down. I've really been letting a lot of things get to me and it's surprising I still am standing up after being on the receiving end of blows after blows. Really in a rather horrid depression, but like what JY mentioned, it is still up to oneself to be able to climb out of everything and be happy again. It is a choice. I choose to be happy and in the midst of being happy, I'll let sarcasm lead me on - my only way of moving on.

How does sarcasm work? Many would find it weird to hear of sarcasm as a driving force. But we see it in everyday life. Anyone who's been to Basic Military Training in Tekong, would probably realise they're in for a tough time. Yet every night, there would be some laughter going on in the bunks. Why? Why would there be laughter if the army was such hardship?

There are two ways of dealing with adversity. One is to moan and groan, the other is to laugh it off. There is no real need of going into the moaning portion, but maybe some would like an explanation of "laughing" things off. Remember the platoon clowns that seem to enjoy their time in BMT? Those who imitate their fiercest commanders? What about the time when everyone was in pushup position? Wasn't there a sarcastic mutter under the breath about the sergeant? At least one of those remarks would have come across as funny. That would have been sarcasm.

However, the dangerous thing about sarcasm is when all the laughter wears off, when no one is around to share the moment of sarcasm, tiredness takes over. And you realise that maybe things aren't so easily "laughed off" at times.

Sarcasm is not really a good outlet but yes, move on I will. But don't stand up and applause and congratulate me yet, don't come over and pat me on the back yet, and don't even present me with the slightest praise yet. I'd rather go about doing it my own way without interference or anything.

Maybe I would start by setting an aim for myself. A new target, a goal. Something that I know I would enjoy when I get there. The problem is sports seems to be out of the question now that I'm STILL injured. Things get really sucky when there's no aim in life. Hmmm... maybe I should set myself a target date to get well in time so that I can once again grace my footballing world.

In the meantime, maybe someone just come along to give me some ideas on goal setting. At the same time, for those who've really seen me playing football, I'd like to be remembered as a fleet-footed, passionate and imaginative raw talent that is in the waiting to be polished(put bluntly, a footballer that will never be...), just in case I never get back to playing.

Okay, it's late and I still don't know why I chose to write this entry so late in the night, but I think I'm off to sleep now..

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