____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

20:50
Saturday, February 25, 2006

____It Takes Really Strong Belief

Not much progress in the mid term break. Managed to complete around 3 tutorials in school but was generally slack on Wednesday and Thursday. Clubbing is not really what I like but Thursday's Hall Bash was rather fun considering the madcap antics of the Gmaxes, namely Qimou. It was a pretty high night for me though I still insist I wasn't drunk.

After completing the 4th tutorial today, I was looking through some of my old stuff, ranging from secondary school contacts to the army photos. Can't help thinking of my days during the army when some friends were so close during the times of hardship and yet after completing the PTI course, we rarely make contact. Was thinking how sad sometimes people just come and go but then when I checked on my Johari window, I realised how come people quietly stand by you and keep themselves updated with information about you.

Of the pathetic 2 people who actually bothered to fill in my Johari window, one of them was Yukai - one of the most outstanding people I've met in terms of discipline. For that, I thank you for being around during the "unbearable" times during the 76 Basic Fitness Specialist Course.
________________________________________________

S. Rajaratnam passed away. I have to confess I didn't know who he is. I watched his funeral on Channel Newasia though and from what the people around him said, I gathered that he played a very important role in the building of Singapore.

I guess during the tough period when Singapore just turn independent, the people who could really make a difference were those who actually strongly believed in their ideals. I doubt my ability to be able to influence, to stand out and make a difference.

If I couldn't handle the situation of the road relay team, if I couldn't convince people of joining the team, if I couldn't force my way into the Hall One first team, what makes me capable of handling the challenges of life?

Maybe I didn't really believe strongly enough. I didn't go all out to do my best? Or did I try to do too many things at a time? Maybe I didn't believe that I could actually win.

This sucks, nowadays I don't even feel like getting out of bed. I think I've failed in too many areas in recent times. I need a confidence booster. I need to start winning something or doing well in something again to get me going.

One thing for sure, I cannot stay in this dejection for too long exams are looming again. If there should be someone who regrets, I have to make sure that person is not me.

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00:34
Wednesday, February 15, 2006

____I have a

splitting headache...
And I'm bored.. I've got nothing better to do...
And I found this... http://kevan.org/johari?name=JCFong
I'm incoherent. I've a splitting headache.
Did I mention I have a splitting headache?
I think I'm terminally ill.

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00:31
Monday, February 13, 2006

____Finished

On my way to Christopher's place today, I was observing the people on the MRT train. There was a cute baby, a cute little gal and a cute boy. It was nice watching them. The boy looks the sort that should already be in his lower secondary school. Although his mum was dragging him by the arm and giving firm instructions to where he should sit, he cuts the figure of a happy kid with a nice little cap.

He looks happy until he sounded his first cry for no particular reason. He kept looking at the screen above me. He pointed at it, he sounded his cry again. It then occured to me that he is a mentally challenged child. I felt so sad. Then I felt pity for his mum. Then I felt anger and anger is a pretty tame word to describe my feeling. Life is so damn unfair. Wtf man.

The day didn't get better. I missed my stop while observing them and had to make Chris wait for another 10 minutes or so.

The Hall Production was about to start and I was there in time. Well, at least in time to see my speedboat race away into the horizon. It became a speck. And then it vanished. I guess Eng Kiat was right. And Wilson too. I had waited again.

After the show, I saw an old man lying on the floor outside NAFA. He was sleeping. Or he was trying to sleep. Or he was trying to close his eyes to escape the world. I wondered what made him sleep there. I wondered if I would be like that in future.

I hate the way how we cannot control our fates. Damned life. Life gives you shit, you eat shit.

I have a quiz tomorrow that I haven't studied for. I wonder how I'm gonna cope the rest of the night.

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13:59
Sunday, February 12, 2006

____Unfinished

The fateful day has come and gone. It will be a long while before the kovan kids get together for some football watching sessions. And I wonder what's it like for the Parry field to miss the fluid football the kovan kids string together. But a guy has got to do what a guy has to do. All the best for your studies in New Zealand, Wilson.
________________________________________________________

My brother did well for his O levels scoring 11 points and will be going on to study Digital Media Design in NYP. A brave decision to move in a different direction from his two older brothers. And a decision that is not without a future too. From how I perceive, there will be chances to to go on to study in a local University and there is also decent job prospects.

It seems like pop culture is here to stay. For even though I may find it excruciating to see the likes of JJ Lin prancing like an idiot on TV or listening to the irritating cutesy voice of Cyndi Wang, there is always a bigger audience of pop than the people like me. In the end, I have to look at it this way - my brother is going to do something that is heavily related to "pleasing the teenage girls" and that his future depends on how well he manages to catch the trends of media design that can invoke these girls to demonstrate their spending power. And purely for this reason, I hope that the industry churn out more Jay Chous and JJ Lins.
________________________________________________________

Seems like these are the days when many of us will have to cry. So many of my friends are having to cope with difficulties in their lives be it work, friends, relationships. It is a trying period and this has coincided with the beginning of my listening to Yoshiki's classical pieces. "Amethyst", "Good Bye", "Without You", "Anniversary" and "Energy Flown" are tracks that will never cease to make me feel pure sorrow. Msn me if you want them.

Zhengwei said crying is nothing wrong. It is just being true to your feelings. So if you need to, go ahead and bawl. But after everything, wake up and realise that it is a new day. Though some things will never be forgotten, new memories will never cease to be created.

After all...

Whether the weather be fine, whether the weather be not
Whether the weather be cold, whether the weather be hot
We'll weather the weather whatever the weather
Whether we like it or not

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20:35
Wednesday, February 01, 2006

____Small Treat.Guaranteed Good.

Which musician gets to write an original classical piece and perform it in front of his Emperor?

Which musician's music is adored and well received by Emperor Akihito and his wife, Empress Michiko?

Yoshiki Hayashi. Nov 1999, he performed his self composed "Anniversary" - to celebrate the Emperor's tenth anniversary of his enthronement.

How great it is to have your works acclaimed and appreciated by everyone??

By the way, who has got the full clip?

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____T.A.G.B.O.A.R.D

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