____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

____It Takes Really Strong Belief

Not much progress in the mid term break. Managed to complete around 3 tutorials in school but was generally slack on Wednesday and Thursday. Clubbing is not really what I like but Thursday's Hall Bash was rather fun considering the madcap antics of the Gmaxes, namely Qimou. It was a pretty high night for me though I still insist I wasn't drunk.

After completing the 4th tutorial today, I was looking through some of my old stuff, ranging from secondary school contacts to the army photos. Can't help thinking of my days during the army when some friends were so close during the times of hardship and yet after completing the PTI course, we rarely make contact. Was thinking how sad sometimes people just come and go but then when I checked on my Johari window, I realised how come people quietly stand by you and keep themselves updated with information about you.

Of the pathetic 2 people who actually bothered to fill in my Johari window, one of them was Yukai - one of the most outstanding people I've met in terms of discipline. For that, I thank you for being around during the "unbearable" times during the 76 Basic Fitness Specialist Course.
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S. Rajaratnam passed away. I have to confess I didn't know who he is. I watched his funeral on Channel Newasia though and from what the people around him said, I gathered that he played a very important role in the building of Singapore.

I guess during the tough period when Singapore just turn independent, the people who could really make a difference were those who actually strongly believed in their ideals. I doubt my ability to be able to influence, to stand out and make a difference.

If I couldn't handle the situation of the road relay team, if I couldn't convince people of joining the team, if I couldn't force my way into the Hall One first team, what makes me capable of handling the challenges of life?

Maybe I didn't really believe strongly enough. I didn't go all out to do my best? Or did I try to do too many things at a time? Maybe I didn't believe that I could actually win.

This sucks, nowadays I don't even feel like getting out of bed. I think I've failed in too many areas in recent times. I need a confidence booster. I need to start winning something or doing well in something again to get me going.

One thing for sure, I cannot stay in this dejection for too long exams are looming again. If there should be someone who regrets, I have to make sure that person is not me.

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