____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

20:08
Monday, August 28, 2006

____The Friendship Of A Passerby

Certain things have happened recently and have made me change my mind about friendships. More and more, the disappointment with the people around me have made me realise that I shouldn't be disappointed anymore. There shouldn't even be room to feel disappointment. It is just a way of life. Suddenly, I realised the truth in these words, which I extract from Wilson's blog.

"On Friendship"

...Our destinies meet for a moment, then diverge again
We can meet up and reminisce on the good old days,
And laugh again at that lame joke,
But You and I know it will never be the same again,

For time moves on and waits for no man,
Old friends are lost,
New friends are found.
There is no need to make extravagant efforts to stay in touch
We all have our own paths,
Let us not get in each other's way!
Let us drift apart...

Whether or not we were once from Rosyth Class 95 graduates. Whether or not we were once ZHSS NPCC squadmates. Whether or not we braved the storms of A levels together. Whether or not we mock fought in our bunkrooms during SISPEC. Whether or not we experienced the PTI beesting together. Whether or not I am part of block 222 Sunday soccer group. If one of us decide to move on, for whatever reasons, let's not stop each other. If you decide not to turn up for Hall Ball, I will not question you. If I stop playing at block 222, please don't ask me why.

And a message to insane poet's friends....

"Passerby"
You would have drove me home,
Even in the middle of the night.
And when you drink till you puked,
Be sure I'd give you a ride.

I sure have liked your smile,
But I liked your laughter more.
I would have said things to make you laugh,
So that your stomach went sore.

Yet there were times I made you cry.
That's when you have your revenge.
Because whenever you did,
My heart felt like it's been wrenched.

I would have laughed at your inability,
To tell the difference between Tanah Merah and Kembangan.
You would have laughed at my poor school results.
And I'd probably shoot you if I had a gun.

I didn't take some jokes that came my way,
Sometimes, you didn't find things funny too.
But you'd still take another insult.
That's beyond a doubt.

I am your friend for 10 years.
I am your friend since four.
I am still your friend,
Even when you show me the door.

My dear friend, don't stop me from leaving,
Let me fly away.
I won't urge to keep you too,
If you decide to run one day.

Even if we're only two-week-friends,
I hope you don't feel pity.
And when I'm gone, don't cry,
For I'm only your passerby...

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23:15
Tuesday, August 22, 2006

____Of Torpedoes And Human Bombs

Firstly, a tribute to the picture. That person is me, caught by a state of the art high speed camera, in action la David Beckham.

Okay, it's an uncool shot because I was in jeans and polo T. And look at the horrid shoes I'm wearing that day! I hate SAF Brooks. The ball was very deflated, well it still is. But the fact is National Stadium will be torn down next year. And this is a still capture from the video of me. Kicking a ball. In National Stadium. On the field.

The stadium of memories of Fandi Ahmad scoring that wonder goal against Nottingham Forest. And of course, I will reminisce the same match when Stan Collymore delivered that piledriver past David Lee. Singapore won Tiger Cup on homeground and I was there with buddies Wilson and Bruce when Indra Sahdan smashed home the first goal of the night.

There were wonderful memories of SYF when I was sec 1. Many National Day evenings, and I even have the honour to serve my Industrial Attachment there. I remember my Dad bringing me to the place to watch Malaysia Cup matches. I remember the happy hustle and bustle of the occasions when he did so. My love for football was initiated here. This place is proof of my Dad's love for us.

Standing in the empty gallery will ignite many thoughts and memories. It is like feeling the legends that walked the ground, walking the ground all over again....
___________________________________________________

Went down to Toa Payoh Swimming Complex today. At the competition pool where I met more national athletes. This time there is big star Joscelyn Yeo. How cool. But my eyes were fixed on the water drop there - reminds me of the time when we sneaked into NTU pool at night.

Back in office, I chanced upon my colleague's website. Terraoutdoors is the company. It organises overseas trips such as trekking, diving, cycling. Suddenly, I'm reminded of the time when us, PTIs went to Kota Tinggi, jumping off the stone ledge and plunging into the coolness of the natural pool. www.terraoutdoors.com. Sounds like a good way for a getaway.

Mother Nature is beckoning to me. The call of the wild. The yearning to be free. I just want to be in awe of Mr Waterfall again...

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18:58
Saturday, August 19, 2006

____Dilemma

Hall Bash was a success thanks to the support the hall has given. But what touched me was the presence of all the seniors who came down to just check on things. I mean, they probably don't realise it, but their presence was appreciated.

To tell the truth, as the chief-programmer, I was pretty nervous with the proceedings. But things turned out fine and I even had some time to enjoy myself - drinking, chatting, wriggling whatever moves I have on the dance floor and then playing with wax. Haha...

Hopefully Hall Ball will be just as successful.
____________________________________________________

IA has left me freaking frustrated. Okay, I know it is cool to work in National Stadium. I know it is cool to see James Wong, Vincent Ng, Belinda Lee, water flooding the office and being able to film myself in football action inside the National Stadium. But hell, the work here is tough.

I have come to a point that I feel guilty for the citizens of Singapore. Here I am, stumped with the bloody project. My job is supposed to work on the national athletes and then help them win medals to do Singapore proud. Yet, I find that the structure of the laboratory is not complete enough. We have 3 biomechanists. Of which one is doing his masters in NTU, the other is a part-timer and the last one is the head of the department. We have two other lab technicians who do a pretty good job. But seriously, how much can 3 half- involved biomechanists do?

So I come into the picture, supposedly to do a 3D model of a sporting activity. I chose wushu - trust me, it is already the easiest choice of the lot. Because if you look at the rest of the sports like swimming and sailing, the analysis will surely involve thermodynamics, that is, moving of bodies through a viscous medium. What I am doing now is a lengthy process. Is a project that once completed, is worth publishing a paper in International Sports Biomechanics journals. Projects such as these take years to do, not to mention at least 3 or 4 professors involved. So, I suppose Superman is supposed to complete it within 6 months of his IA all alone?

Flowplan of project..

And then, the actual results will still depend on whether the wushu athlete wins the medal. Imagine the costs involved - qualified manpower, costs of equipment that go by tens of thousands, opportunity costs and effort wasted. Then think about where the Singapore Sports Council gets the money from. Has it struck you that those ERP payments are going into erm... medals?

Okay, I know the mark of a rich country is the ability to be able to enjoy high standard of living - to enjoy music, watch plays, shake some ass in clubs, smile at people on the streets, win sports medals and then going home to that high class condominium with lavish facilities. I know too that I really hate the low-class pop culture here and yearn to see more people appreciating stuff that are more difficult to appreciate. But surely asking an unqualified undergraduate to do a some kind of PhD stuff is an unglamourous way of throwing oneself into the "high-class" range of countries?

So disgusted Superman is half inclined to read ISB journals all day and do a poor job on the project. And then risk getting a poor grade for his IA. What's worse is that my supervisors have already expected me to continue my "good work" here by doing my final year project with them. And chances are, I will continue my career with the government, with little chance of promotion, with little experience gained in the private sector. And then ending up probably busking on the streets of Orchard Road - showing off whatever mediocre football tricks I have.

I really need a break through. Like a miracle. Like how suddenly a ray of light appears. And then suddenly I master the AnyBody modeling programming language. And then getting a good grade for IA.

Okay, I actually need to work on the IA report. GAH!

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19:57
Monday, August 14, 2006

____What If

Haven't been scoring goals on Sunday soccer lately but I helped myself to four goals yesterday.

A sharp, Bruce-like finish to the far post.
A sublime kick with the back against the goal doubled the tally.
A left foot drive that rocked the right post before flying into the goal.
Lastly, a spectacular bicycle kick after beating 3 opponents.
Hell, it was shiok. Confidence in terms of football was on a high.

But Murphy's Law states that what can go wrong, will go wrong.

Siqiang said,
"u know what....
actually u got into the first team u know
when they send out the mail for the 15 people to go for the fitness test
then coach say this 15 is sure in first team...."

Freak. Another missed chance. IA intervened and I knew I couldn't commit. I didn't even receive that email.

Folks,
Dr. Swarup has selected his worthy 15s!
Consider yourself as one of the fitter players among the team (at least for now) if your name appears below.
1. Lim Aik Leong
2. Ng Zhi Wei
3. Jonathan
4. Oh Jin Jie
5. Ming Wei
6. Yizhou
7. Robin 1
8. Chris
9. Alloy
10. Fahmi
11. Jeffery
12. Kai Le
13. Jerrard
14. Robin Goh
15. Ang Qihua Shaun

Aik Leong is no surprise. I thought Kaile is amazing for all his smoking tendencies. I'm surprised Yao Yang isn't in there. Very surprised. Read 7. Robin 1. I don't know why there's a "1" after my name. But there are only two Robins. And the other one is already in the list. So NUMBER SEVEN is me. Sigh... things don't work out sometimes. Or rather, things don't work out most of the time.

Missed chances. How many more would pass by before I decide to take action and pounce on these oppotunities?!

Wilson already said "In life, most people regret the things they've not done rather than the things they've done."

I hate the way I'm so scared. Help me hate me.

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14:49
Sunday, August 06, 2006

____Literature And The Insane Poet

"From him, I learnt that a welcome is no mere hello nor farewell a simple goodbye. It is so richly and appropriately expressed."

Minister of State for Education, Rear Admiral Lui Tuck Yew quoted above with reference to the brilliance of JRR Tolkien.

Literature is an art. It is a piece of imaginative and creative written work. Literature is of recognised value. Through literature, we understand the ways of society, master the language in which the work was written in and we appreciate the simple things in life more.

"We memorise portions of literary work. Not because we have to, not because of rote learning, not because it is drilled into us, but because we want to. Years later, we can still regurgitate portions of it simply because we have allowed it to percolate and to resonate inside us." - RAdm Lui

There were times, I was regretful about the fact that I could not make it to the triple pure science stream back during Secondary Two - my ambition was to be a doctor. In the end, I ended up doing literature instead. But thinking back, I am glad to have been given this chance to work under Mr Macdonald from Canada. Here was a teacher who was very different from my previous ones and although he wasn't really my favourite, he was youthful, vibrant and most of all, idealistic with the teaching profession. As a literature-cum-form-teacher, he was kindly and never one to impose an "I'm your teacher and you're my student" stand - which is why now I can repeat words of his that have left a lasting impression.

Literature back then was torturous. Naturally, I didn't do very well then, barely passing most of the time. Yet towards the end of my secondary school years, I was beginning to enjoy Macbeth more and more, understanding and appreciating Shakespeare's almost unparalleled genius. Of course, there were other works I enjoyed - 'Midsummer's Night Dream' and 'Romeo & Juliet'. Due to the fast paced living, office politics and a general I-fight-formyself-attitude, I always felt that Macbeth is a read that is very much suited to the modern times.

I once argued with Chris that a brief brush with the study of literature has helped me more with appreciating movies. His stand was that even though he hadn't studied literature before, he would still be able to enjoy the show enough. Forgive me but I have this impression that people just go and catch a show just for entertainment. Now I just wonder what is the whole point behind it if you just catch a show and do not learn anything about it? For me after stepping out of the theatre in awe, I reflect how the movie's themes can make me a better person. I imagine putting myself through the dilemma as faced by the lead and how I would be able to cope with it should it happen in future.

Now don't get me wrong, I probably have watched far less movies than all of you. I also identify with the fact that I haven't indulged in good books for a long time. Idealistic as I may be, I'm still the very much flawed person that you all know. Maybe I have blasted at you sometimes in this life before, maybe I have passed snide remarks, maybe I have said things out before they have been processed through the brain. But it was all for a good cause.

Having disgressed a little, I shall return now to say that literature has helped me much in maintaining ideas for short essays like the one I'm writing now in my blog. If you have read my first few entries, you would have realised that one of the reasons for this space is to exercise my love for writing. I know, however, that content-wise, I am a little falling backwards because of my reluctance to pick up a book. I write things based on personal experience, I also write a little poetically sometimes - but that's because I cannot play any musical instruments.

I'll leave with just one last quote for you all from RAdm Lui.

"When you read widely, you are exposed to that range of emotions. It becomes part of you even if you have not experienced it for yourself"

An a quote for myself....

"Out, damned spot!"

---------------------------------

01:42

____Updates

Okay, just a quick one before I head for the bed.

Hmm. Think my family is like some rich family that is always shown on the television. No, don't get me wrong. My family isn't rich. Well, I used to love to think that my family is rich. But I don't think so now.

So why do I feel like my family is like those rich families that gets shown on TV? Well, maybe because we have a family business - everyone's business becomes everyone else's. Like how I will care for how my younger cousins are doing in their studies. Like how my uncles bother us so much about our work. Even when my brother is going to do medicine in NUS, there's a lot of concern about whether there's enough money to tide him through this period of education.

Yup. My family is like those big rich families you see in TV. I just realised how lucky I am to have all my financial needs taken care of (even when I'm already 23). I just hope that my brothers know how much money have been invested into their education - even more than mine. Haha. Yeah, I know I cocked up somewhere during my entire education period, that's why not so much effort is put into me.

That said, a new group of people have just started a new phase in their education - the university life. My doc-to-be-bro is one of those. And my hall has a brand new batch of freshies for me to play with. Somehow, I can't wait for IBG soccer to start.

I'll leave with this thing that's bugging me. Ever wondered why some people just leave a smile with you? They just bring this infectious happiness with them wherever they go. Naturally people like to be with them. But somehow, I felt a little reluctant going back for ghost walk the other night. Strange.

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____T.A.G.B.O.A.R.D

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