____T.H.E. .P.A.S.S.

____Who Killed The MockingBird?

So, I've failed a module in my first year, first semester. So, I did a "Re-". So, I probably ain't going to get my second class upper. So... I'm being mocked at. Or I have this feeling at least. Nevermind I passed it on my "Re-". Nevermind I got an "A" after my "Re-". I'd probably never be half as successful as Mockingbird.

In many ways, I'm thankful for the current financial well-being of my family. Ironically, it resembles, in many ways, too much like those you watch on TV. A little backstabbing here. A little mocking there. Though I would still like to say that much of the rest of it is pure genuine care. But sometimes it really stresses one to be in such a situation. Okay, great, everyone is doing well. Some are doing way too well. So where do I stand? Right at the bottom? If so, does it mean the right to be mocked at?

Or have I taken it all too seriously? Is it the pressure that is supplied to me by the family? Or is it a self-imposed desire to prove the rest wrong? Sure it may just all be a little way of showing a little concern, but the way it was brought across just stabs. So, mockingbird is successful. Mockingbird has a beautiful wife and 2 beautiful children. Mockingbird has a car. Great career. Loads of cash. Multiple degress. Have I mentioned the condo? Why even Mockingbird did the SOC at 6minutes plus - way faster than my 8min 9sec record. Well, I'll be owned. What have I got? (5/8 of an engineering degree... and erm... wonderful football skills) It just rubs in, doesn't it?

Like Wilson said, everything I needed financially was taken care of. All I needed to do was to focus on studying. But I admit to the fact that I cocked up along the way. Yet,to the rest, I have had already screwed up my entire education. Right? The word education is technically wrong already. Education is process at which one goes through to learn. But the situation I'm in now doesn't seem to allow "screwing up" be a part of education.

That's the way Singaporeans are brought up and that's why I'm consigned to believe that I'll never be half as good a businessman as Mockingbird. I've already lost out in terms of the qualifications - Mockingbird has a nice Business Administration paper. Besides that, I'm told to stay out of the business. "Go find a nice office job," they say, "air-conditioned and all. Keep away from the risks. No stress. Life's good."

"...and get mocked at." I thought to myself.

So, these days I'm wondering where I'd end up. Wel, not exactly these days - I've been wondering my entire 23 years where I'd end up. The only firm conclusion after years of investigation is that I'd probably be some speck of dust by the next century.

In the meantime, I'll just think about my FYP. Then maybe a little more about how I want to develop my career. Hopefully, by then, I wouldn't be thinking about killing the Mockingbird...

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